| Everyone comes up against difficult
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| | people respond to you". Difficult people
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| people, demanding situations, and
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| | are difficult because their desires are
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| disappointing circumstances in every area
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| | being met through their difficult
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| of life; work, marriage, and friendship.
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| | behavior. Difficult people are often
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| We can't avoid it. But we can learn some
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| | fully aware they are being difficult.
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| few basic skills that can make working
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| | They continue because there is a reward
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| with them less stressful.
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| | in the end result.
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| Dealing with difficult people takes some
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| | You have to analyze what you have been
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| understanding on our part and a
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| | doing in the past that rewards or
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| willingness to assume some risk as well.
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| | encourage the difficult person's
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| It takes time to train difficult people
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| | behavior. Then, stop rewarding them.
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| that their difficult behavior may work
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| | 7) Knowledge is power and it's to our
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| with everyone else, but not with you.
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| | advantage to develop and practice
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| However, with a few basic strategies and
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| | effective conflict management practices
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| easy-to -use principles, your effort will
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| | that facilitate discussion. Read related
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| be rewarded with better relationships, a
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| | books, attend workshops, listen to tapes
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| reputation that says you are not easily
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| | or CDs. Learn how to establish an
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| aroused.
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| | immediate rapport through a smile or eye
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| Keep in mind the following points:
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| | contact. Develop as many skills as you
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| • The difficult people behavior is
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| | can. This way you gain credibility, and
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| habitual and affects most people with
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| | your efforts will soften those opposing
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| whom they come in contact. So "Do not
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| | you. Effective communication is critical.
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| take their behavior personally"
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| | 8) Build your self-confidence.
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| • Anger is sometimes a valid response.
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| | Self-confident people are not as
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| • Recognize that a criticism of your
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| | concerned with what other people think
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| work is not a criticism of you, so don't
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| | about them. They will not instinctively
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| let it damage your self-esteem.
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| | let the difficult person have their way
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| • It is useless to ask the difficult
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| | in hopes of being liked. Additionally,
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| person to stop doing what they're doing
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| | people with high self-esteem are less
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| publicly, but you can employ more
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| | likely to respond to the difficult person
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| confrontational tactics.
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| | by being a difficult person.
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| • Learn to take care of yourself as you
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| | If the difficult person tries to verbally
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| don't want to get sucked into their
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| | bully you, just say, "I don't allow
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| behaviors.
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| | people to treat me this way." Then slowly
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| • You can't change difficult people,
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| | and calmly walk away. So be confident and
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| but you can learn to deal with them.
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| | look your bully in the eye. Don't forget
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| The idea in dealing with difficult people
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| | to breathe (most people tend to forget to
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| is to first look at your role in the
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| | breathe when under stress). Speak in a
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| situation and then to try the following
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| | calm and clear voice while asserting
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| strategies:
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| | yourself by naming the behavior you don't
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| 1) When discussing problems with
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| | like and state what is expected instead.
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| difficult people, keep it short and
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| | Sometimes you may find yourself forced to
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| direct. It minimizes a stressful
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| | take unpredictable actions to get their
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| situation for both of you. Don't argue
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| | attention: drop a book, stand up, firmly
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| with them as it's a waste of time. When
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| | call them by name, and get them to sit
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| you do speak, be sure your tone is
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| | down. Be ready for friendly overtures as
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| non-emotional and non-confrontational.
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| | soon as they view you as worthy of
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| 2) Generally speaking, it is good to
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| | respect.
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| practice starting conversations that
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| | 9) If you can't see the problem from the
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| create goodwill. Ask people about the
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| | difficult person's point of view, ask
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| things they like - family, hobbies, TV
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| | them. While this may not work with some,
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| programs and work in general. This is a
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| | it's usually a good idea in the case of
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| very good idea to disarm them, get them
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| | closer relationships. The trick is, in
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| talking and make them feel more
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| | arguments, you need to have patience with
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| comfortable.
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| | the other person, and self-restraint with
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| If you are dealing with silent people who
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| | yourself.
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| ignore you and seek safety by refusing to
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| | Some difficult people are experts at
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| respond, then there should be another
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| | taking potshots and making sneak attacks
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| response. Silent people get away with not
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| | in subtle indirect ways. Respond to those
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| talking because most people are
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| | snipers with a question like "Are you're
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| uncomfortable with silence. Get them to
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| | making fun of me?" Although a sniper
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| talk by asking open-ended questions that
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| | usually replies to such question with
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| can't be answered with just a yes or no,
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| | denial, but it will reduce the chance for
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| then wait at least one full minute and
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| | similar attacks in the future.
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| don't try to fill the space with words to
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| | 10) Remain open to other people's
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| ease your own discomfort.
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| | opinions, viewpoints, and ideas. Share
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| 3) "Oftentimes, indirect language works
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| | yours, as well. Find something to
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| because it focuses on the work rather
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| | appreciate and comment on in a clever
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| than the person. Instead of saying, 'You
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| | way. Too often, we focus on what people
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| need to get it to me,' you can say,
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| | are doing wrong. Try to catch them doing
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| "Reports must be prepared" That way,
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| | something right and comment on it. It
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| people are less likely to feel that they
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| | makes people feel less under attack.
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| are under attack.
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| | Dealing with difficult people takes
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| 4) Learn to admit when you're wrong. Make
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| | persistence and practice, so don't get
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| apologies to all you have harmed. It can
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| | discouraged. Although these strategies
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| be as simple as saying "I'm sorry for
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| | won't change the difficult people, they
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| what I've done", "I made a mistake", or
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| | will break their ability to interfere
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| "I could be wrong". The more you do this,
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| | with your daily activities. "Most
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| the easier it becomes.
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| | important, you'll feel more confident and
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| 5) Confront problems professionally and
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| | you'll start to enjoy your life."
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| with confidence. As a matter of fact,
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| | You are welcome to use my articles on
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| when you get into a tough point, don't
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| | your website WITH the 'Author's Resource
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| raise your voice, as dealing with
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| | Box' below included.
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| difficult people in a calm and permissive
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| | Eng. Muath Daraghmeh is the webmaster of
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| way will most likely keep the emotional
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| | the *Best Rated* Make Money from Home
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| | Visit the site to discover a Step-by-step
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| 6) Keep in mind that "how you communicate
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