| As birth moved out of the home, and families | | | | about her fear, got the mother to smile, and |
| were splintered by the birth experience, | | | | the little girl joined her family for the |
| birth no longer was a family event. Birth | | | | birth. 8 The Thompson family had a number of |
| became dehumanized. With the return to home | | | | children born at home and all of them |
| and with the consumer demands for more | | | | remember the events as being very exciting |
| "home-like" settings in institutions, the | | | | and filled with joy. The husband of one of |
| concept of children at birth has became a | | | | the daughters comments, "At one time, I |
| "problem" that needs special preparation, | | | | believed having a baby was just the same as |
| classes and advice from "experts". I have a | | | | having your appendix removed. It always |
| very strong prejudice regarding children's | | | | seemed like it was a matter of life and |
| presence at birth -- if the mother and father | | | | death..." After the homebirth of his niece, |
| want their children present at the birth and | | | | whom he saw within 5 minutes of her birth, he |
| if the children want to be there, then that | | | | said, "I can't believe that something so |
| is how that family should have their birth. | | | | complex could be so simple and beautiful." |
| This is their family. To quote Marjie | | | | Although he was an adult, his impression |
| Hathaway, the family is "a necessary and holy | | | | expresses what so many children feel but are |
| institution." A midwife's job is to support | | | | unable to articulate. 9 Sue Hathaway, 15, |
| and empower families. 1, 2Why should children | | | | spoke at a NAPSAC conference about her |
| be present?*bonding *positive sex education | | | | experience watchilng her youngest sibling be |
| *an appreciation of fear and pain *to witness | | | | born. Her concluding comment was "If you are |
| a miracle *be helpful and encouraging *be a | | | | not going to learn from your parents about |
| part of the whole family *maybe diminish | | | | having babies, who is going to teach you?" |
| sibling jealosy Why should children not be | | | | Jonathan Stewart also spoke at that NAPSAC |
| present? *negative feelings about sex, birth | | | | conference. His recollections of the births |
| *fear of the unknown *lost modesty for mother | | | | of his 4 siblings were of wonder, "pleasant |
| *shock at seeing "forbidden body parts" *pain | | | | memories", and he remembers very little |
| might frighten child *potential for | | | | blood. Younger brother Keith, upon seeing his |
| nightmares 3, 4How some parents decideSome | | | | newest brother just be born, blurted out, |
| families are very comfortable being with | | | | "Look, Mom, he is naked." Ten-year-old Lora |
| their children in various stages of dress or | | | | in remembering the her brother's birth says |
| undress, occasionally share their bed with a | | | | "I felt love in my heart. . . I felt close to |
| child and are easily able to discuss any | | | | him." 10 Shiela Kitzinger interviewed a |
| topic that arises with their children. Other | | | | couple of women whose older child slept until |
| families are very modest and avoid | | | | the baby was just born and then awaoke and |
| discussions about body parts or sex. There is | | | | joined the family on the birth bed. Said one, |
| no right way, but for a family contemplating | | | | "Julie woke up to find a sister had been born |
| a birth with children present, a certain | | | | during the night just as we had told her it |
| amount of information will need to be shared. | | | | would happen. We were the happiest little |
| In a family that is extremely modest, the | | | | family in the world." 11 Sandra Anderson had |
| parents need to discuss their level of | | | | her son Josiah in a hospital with many |
| comfort with having their children see the | | | | interventions. When she became pregnant with |
| mother somewhat naked. If mother is not | | | | her second child, she was determined to have |
| comfortable with this idea, then it may be | | | | a natural birth and to include Josiah in this |
| better to plan for the children to be there | | | | very family-centered event. He was 2 1/2 |
| but not in the room where the birth will be | | | | years old. Her perspective of his experience |
| taking place. Of course, other concerns such | | | | was that he was comfortable with the whole |
| as passing involuntary feces, amniotic fluid | | | | situation. An added benefit for her, was that |
| and blood may be embarrassing to some mothers | | | | he reminded her that she would not be in |
| (or fathers) who would prefer to not have | | | | labor forever, as he asked, "Where are my |
| their older children present. Sometimes women | | | | tinkertoys" and "I want a peanut butter |
| make noises while they labor and push. A | | | | sandwich." She felt Josiah added a "wonderful |
| mother must be sure that she is comfortable | | | | spirit of spontaneity to the birth." 12 |
| making those necessary sounds with her | | | | Children have a different perspective on |
| children present. At some point during the | | | | birth and do not necessarily "see" it as |
| birth, their mother will be unclothed in | | | | adults do. One woman remembered how after the |
| order to birth the baby and nurse the | | | | birth of her fifth child, her fou-year-old |
| newborn. If the children will be able to | | | | came into the room and noticed the furniture |
| witness the birth, they need to know where | | | | had been rearranged. This so interested her |
| the baby is going to come out and a little | | | | that she went and got her other siblings to |
| bit about how the process works. How detailed | | | | see the room. One family felt that having the |
| these explanations become will depend on the | | | | children included from the start of the |
| age and curiousity of the child or | | | | pregnancy through the birth was very |
| children.Parent preparationProbably the best | | | | important and wrote, "The midwife asked us |
| preparation is good communication between | | | | every day how the baby was, and the children |
| parents. For parents who feel they need more | | | | delighted in telling her all that had |
| knowledge, a consumer oriented childbirth | | | | happened since her last visit. These may |
| course may be time well-spent. Many of these | | | | appear to be trivial details. But when I read |
| courses include discussions of children at | | | | of the break-up of families perhaps they are |
| birth. Some even have a class devoted to the | | | | not so trivial, but vitally important factors |
| siblings, to help the parents prepare them | | | | instead." 11StudiesA number of studies have |
| for their new brother or sister. Those who | | | | been conducted over the years looking at |
| are planning to have an unmedicated, natural | | | | various aspects of birth and the effect on |
| birth need to take good care of themselves. | | | | children and families. A few studies have |
| Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a | | | | found that one of the reasons parents choose |
| healthy pregnancy and goes hand in hand with | | | | a home birth is specifically for the |
| a lifestyle that includes adequate exercise | | | | opportunity for all family members to have a |
| and avoids smoking, alcohol and drugs. A | | | | positive experience. Lewis Mehl noted that |
| healthy woman stands a very good chance of | | | | the children he studied had accurate |
| giving birth to a healthy baby. The place of | | | | information about birth and saw the event as |
| birth must be agreeable to the mother and | | | | a good experience. Another researcher, Chase, |
| hopefully the father, too. 6 | | | | found that mothers noted less sibling rivalry |
| | | | between sibllings who were present at the |
| AdvantagesThere are numerous positive | | | | birth. Curry comments that children blame the |
| aspects to having children present at their | | | | new baby when mother disappears to go to the |
| sibling's birth. The family is together for a | | | | hospital, but when children are included in |
| family event, they feel a part of it. | | | | the birth, they see the new baby as a "gift." |
| Psychologically, they are not locked out of a | | | | When children were allowed at births, their |
| family experience. Home birth helps with this | | | | view of birth became a real experience and |
| regard also because mother and baby are | | | | not the mysterous, scarey, life-or-death |
| always there, whereas if mom disappears and | | | | event portrayed in the media. They were not |
| shows up days later with the baby, the | | | | separated from their mother or father and so |
| children left behind may feel they were | | | | by-passed the separation anxiety that many |
| abandoned and are jealous of the new baby. 2, | | | | children suffer when their siblings are born |
| 8ProblemsWith younger children, fear is often | | | | in a hospital that does not permit their |
| an issue that arises, especially if the | | | | presence. It is felt that the presence of |
| mother is making noises, working hard, or has | | | | children at birth also affects how well the |
| her face grimaced in pain. Having someone at | | | | siblings bond, sinimlar to the mother-infant |
| the birth whose sole function is to take care | | | | bonding that occurs immediately after birth. |
| of the children can ease this problem. | | | | 2 While not a truly scientific study, Dr. |
| Sometimes little children become bored by the | | | | Michelle Harrison's informal study of |
| labor and that person can take them for a | | | | children over a two hour time during which |
| walk or play with them. 8 Child preparation | | | | they were actively speaking about birth and |
| 1) discuss with children what will happen a) | | | | related issues, makes a couple of points. She |
| pregnancy, labor and birth b) read books | | | | notes that the conversations about birth |
| about birth c) watch birth videos d) answer | | | | seemed so serious, where as when the children |
| questions in an age-appropriate way 2) keep | | | | were discussing animal births, they were |
| conversations about birth positive 3) take | | | | livlier. Her interpretation includes the |
| children with you to prenatals so they become | | | | insight that they may perceive talk about |
| familiar with your birth attendant and some | | | | birth as being more for adults. Some children |
| of the routines (BP, pulse, palpation, etc.) | | | | did talk about bad outcomes and Dr. Harrison |
| 4) give each child a job to do during labor | | | | writes that this affirms the idea that |
| or birth or after a) give massage b) get | | | | birthing babies is serious business. One |
| drinks for mom c) make meals d) cut cord e) | | | | topic that was somewhat surprising was a |
| dress baby, etc. 5) have caretaker present | | | | discussion about talking about birth at |
| for children who need someone 6) have a party | | | | school. They tended to feel that it was not |
| for new baby after the birth for siblings 4, | | | | ok to talk about their birth experience at |
| 7 | | | | school or with with their teachers or peers |
| | | | because the experience was not a familiar |
| Guidelines for Children at Birth*children | | | | one.4 1 |
| must be able to come and go as they need | | | | |
| *caregiver will take care of smaller | | | | Hathaway, Marjie and Jay, Children at Birth, |
| chilren's needs *children will stay in their | | | | 1978, page 1. 2. NAPSAC, Chapter 68, pages |
| own home either before, during or after the | | | | 877-895. 3. Hathaway, pages 11-21. 4. NAPSAC, |
| birth *only a familiar person will wake up a | | | | Chapter 67, pages 869-876. 5. Hathaway, pages |
| young sleeping child *reassure children that | | | | 31-34. 6. Hathaway, pages 41-58. 7. Hathaway, |
| everything is alright *let the children get | | | | pages 105-106. 8. Hathaway, pages 131-174. 9. |
| to know each other in both planned (give a | | | | Thompson Family, 21st Century Obstetrics |
| gift) and unplanned ways 2ExperiencesFamily | | | | Now!, Vol. 1, Chapter 18, pages 239-253. 10. |
| after family documented their births with | | | | NAPSAC, 21ST Century Obstetrics Now!, Vol 3, |
| older siblings present in Children at Birth. | | | | Chapter 65, pages 857-863. 11. Kitzinger, |
| Nearly all the children who were interviewed | | | | Sheila, Birth at Home, 1981, pages101-111. |
| were very pleased to have been at the birth | | | | 12. NAPSAC, Chapter 66, pages 865-867.Yvonne |
| and were not frightened by the actual birth. | | | | Cryns has degrees in nursing and law. She is |
| One story near the end highlighted the reason | | | | the co-founder of Nursing Programs - |
| a caregiver is needed for the children. This | | | | Midwives.net - Yvonne also produced a |
| little girl was firghtened by the mother's | | | | video about midwives: |
| efforts to pucsh the baby out and left the | | | | |
| room, refusing to re-enter. Then someone | | | | Yvonne is a nationally-credentialed CPM, |
| noticed she was upset and talked with her | | | | a professional homebirth midwife. |