| As birth moved out of the home, and families were | | | | joined her family for the birth. 8 The Thompson family |
| splintered by the birth experience, birth no longer was a | | | | had a number of children born at home and all of them |
| family event. Birth became dehumanized. With the | | | | remember the events as being very exciting and filled |
| return to home and with the consumer demands for | | | | with joy. The husband of one of the daughters |
| more "home-like" settings in institutions, the concept of | | | | comments, "At one time, I believed having a baby was |
| children at birth has became a "problem" that needs | | | | just the same as having your appendix removed. It |
| special preparation, classes and advice from "experts". | | | | always seemed like it was a matter of life and death..." |
| I have a very strong prejudice regarding children's | | | | After the homebirth of his niece, whom he saw within |
| presence at birth -- if the mother and father want their | | | | 5 minutes of her birth, he said, "I can't believe that |
| children present at the birth and if the children want to | | | | something so complex could be so simple and |
| be there, then that is how that family should have their | | | | beautiful." Although he was an adult, his impression |
| birth. This is their family. To quote Marjie Hathaway, the | | | | expresses what so many children feel but are unable |
| family is "a necessary and holy institution." A midwife's | | | | to articulate. 9 Sue Hathaway, 15, spoke at a |
| job is to support and empower families. 1, 2Why should | | | | NAPSAC conference about her experience watchilng |
| children be present?*bonding *positive sex education | | | | her youngest sibling be born. Her concluding comment |
| *an appreciation of fear and pain *to witness a miracle | | | | was "If you are not going to learn from your parents |
| *be helpful and encouraging *be a part of the whole | | | | about having babies, who is going to teach you?" |
| family *maybe diminish sibling jealosy Why should | | | | Jonathan Stewart also spoke at that NAPSAC |
| children not be present? *negative feelings about sex, | | | | conference. His recollections of the births of his 4 |
| birth *fear of the unknown *lost modesty for mother | | | | siblings were of wonder, "pleasant memories", and he |
| *shock at seeing "forbidden body parts" *pain might | | | | remembers very little blood. Younger brother Keith, |
| frighten child *potential for nightmares 3, 4How some | | | | upon seeing his newest brother just be born, blurted |
| parents decideSome families are very comfortable | | | | out, "Look, Mom, he is naked." Ten-year-old Lora in |
| being with their children in various stages of dress or | | | | remembering the her brother's birth says "I felt love in |
| undress, occasionally share their bed with a child and | | | | my heart. . . I felt close to him." 10 Shiela Kitzinger |
| are easily able to discuss any topic that arises with | | | | interviewed a couple of women whose older child |
| their children. Other families are very modest and avoid | | | | slept until the baby was just born and then awaoke |
| discussions about body parts or sex. There is no right | | | | and joined the family on the birth bed. Said one, "Julie |
| way, but for a family contemplating a birth with children | | | | woke up to find a sister had been born during the night |
| present, a certain amount of information will need to be | | | | just as we had told her it would happen. We were the |
| shared. In a family that is extremely modest, the | | | | happiest little family in the world." 11 Sandra Anderson |
| parents need to discuss their level of comfort with | | | | had her son Josiah in a hospital with many |
| having their children see the mother somewhat naked. | | | | interventions. When she became pregnant with her |
| If mother is not comfortable with this idea, then it may | | | | second child, she was determined to have a natural |
| be better to plan for the children to be there but not in | | | | birth and to include Josiah in this very family-centered |
| the room where the birth will be taking place. Of | | | | event. He was 2 1/2 years old. Her perspective of his |
| course, other concerns such as passing involuntary | | | | experience was that he was comfortable with the |
| feces, amniotic fluid and blood may be embarrassing | | | | whole situation. An added benefit for her, was that he |
| to some mothers (or fathers) who would prefer to not | | | | reminded her that she would not be in labor forever, as |
| have their older children present. Sometimes women | | | | he asked, "Where are my tinkertoys" and "I want a |
| make noises while they labor and push. A mother must | | | | peanut butter sandwich." She felt Josiah added a |
| be sure that she is comfortable making those | | | | "wonderful spirit of spontaneity to the birth." 12 Children |
| necessary sounds with her children present. At some | | | | have a different perspective on birth and do not |
| point during the birth, their mother will be unclothed in | | | | necessarily "see" it as adults do. One woman |
| order to birth the baby and nurse the newborn. If the | | | | remembered how after the birth of her fifth child, her |
| children will be able to witness the birth, they need to | | | | fou-year-old came into the room and noticed the |
| know where the baby is going to come out and a little | | | | furniture had been rearranged. This so interested her |
| bit about how the process works. How detailed these | | | | that she went and got her other siblings to see the |
| explanations become will depend on the age and | | | | room. One family felt that having the children included |
| curiousity of the child or children.Parent | | | | from the start of the pregnancy through the birth was |
| preparationProbably the best preparation is good | | | | very important and wrote, "The midwife asked us |
| communication between parents. For parents who feel | | | | every day how the baby was, and the children |
| they need more knowledge, a consumer oriented | | | | delighted in telling her all that had happened since her |
| childbirth course may be time well-spent. Many of | | | | last visit. These may appear to be trivial details. But |
| these courses include discussions of children at birth. | | | | when I read of the break-up of families perhaps they |
| Some even have a class devoted to the siblings, to | | | | are not so trivial, but vitally important factors instead." |
| help the parents prepare them for their new brother or | | | | 11StudiesA number of studies have been conducted |
| sister. Those who are planning to have an | | | | over the years looking at various aspects of birth and |
| unmedicated, natural birth need to take good care of | | | | the effect on children and families. A few studies have |
| themselves. Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a | | | | found that one of the reasons parents choose a home |
| healthy pregnancy and goes hand in hand with a | | | | birth is specifically for the opportunity for all family |
| lifestyle that includes adequate exercise and avoids | | | | members to have a positive experience. Lewis Mehl |
| smoking, alcohol and drugs. A healthy woman stands a | | | | noted that the children he studied had accurate |
| very good chance of giving birth to a healthy baby. | | | | information about birth and saw the event as a good |
| The place of birth must be agreeable to the mother | | | | experience. Another researcher, Chase, found that |
| and hopefully the father, too. 6 | | | | mothers noted less sibling rivalry between sibllings who |
| AdvantagesThere are numerous positive aspects to | | | | were present at the birth. Curry comments that |
| having children present at their sibling's birth. The family | | | | children blame the new baby when mother disappears |
| is together for a family event, they feel a part of it. | | | | to go to the hospital, but when children are included in |
| Psychologically, they are not locked out of a family | | | | the birth, they see the new baby as a "gift." When |
| experience. Home birth helps with this regard also | | | | children were allowed at births, their view of birth |
| because mother and baby are always there, whereas | | | | became a real experience and not the mysterous, |
| if mom disappears and shows up days later with the | | | | scarey, life-or-death event portrayed in the media. |
| baby, the children left behind may feel they were | | | | They were not separated from their mother or father |
| abandoned and are jealous of the new baby. 2, | | | | and so by-passed the separation anxiety that many |
| 8ProblemsWith younger children, fear is often an issue | | | | children suffer when their siblings are born in a hospital |
| that arises, especially if the mother is making noises, | | | | that does not permit their presence. It is felt that the |
| working hard, or has her face grimaced in pain. Having | | | | presence of children at birth also affects how well the |
| someone at the birth whose sole function is to take | | | | siblings bond, sinimlar to the mother-infant bonding that |
| care of the children can ease this problem. Sometimes | | | | occurs immediately after birth. 2 While not a truly |
| little children become bored by the labor and that | | | | scientific study, Dr. Michelle Harrison's informal study of |
| person can take them for a walk or play with them. 8 | | | | children over a two hour time during which they were |
| Child preparation 1) discuss with children what will | | | | actively speaking about birth and related issues, makes |
| happen a) pregnancy, labor and birth b) read books | | | | a couple of points. She notes that the conversations |
| about birth c) watch birth videos d) answer questions | | | | about birth seemed so serious, where as when the |
| in an age-appropriate way 2) keep conversations | | | | children were discussing animal births, they were livlier. |
| about birth positive 3) take children with you to | | | | Her interpretation includes the insight that they may |
| prenatals so they become familiar with your birth | | | | perceive talk about birth as being more for adults. |
| attendant and some of the routines (BP, pulse, | | | | Some children did talk about bad outcomes and Dr. |
| palpation, etc.) 4) give each child a job to do during | | | | Harrison writes that this affirms the idea that birthing |
| labor or birth or after a) give massage b) get drinks for | | | | babies is serious business. One topic that was |
| mom c) make meals d) cut cord e) dress baby, etc. 5) | | | | somewhat surprising was a discussion about talking |
| have caretaker present for children who need | | | | about birth at school. They tended to feel that it was |
| someone 6) have a party for new baby after the birth | | | | not ok to talk about their birth experience at school or |
| for siblings 4, 7 | | | | with with their teachers or peers because the |
| Guidelines for Children at Birth*children must be able to | | | | experience was not a familiar one.4 1 |
| come and go as they need *caregiver will take care | | | | Hathaway, Marjie and Jay, Children at Birth, 1978, page |
| of smaller chilren's needs *children will stay in their own | | | | 1. 2. NAPSAC, Chapter 68, pages 877-895. 3. |
| home either before, during or after the birth *only a | | | | Hathaway, pages 11-21. 4. NAPSAC, Chapter 67, |
| familiar person will wake up a young sleeping child | | | | pages 869-876. 5. Hathaway, pages 31-34. 6. |
| *reassure children that everything is alright *let the | | | | Hathaway, pages 41-58. 7. Hathaway, pages 105-106. |
| children get to know each other in both planned (give a | | | | 8. Hathaway, pages 131-174. 9. Thompson Family, 21st |
| gift) and unplanned ways 2ExperiencesFamily after | | | | Century Obstetrics Now!, Vol. 1, Chapter 18, pages |
| family documented their births with older siblings | | | | 239-253. 10. NAPSAC, 21ST Century Obstetrics Now!, |
| present in Children at Birth. Nearly all the children who | | | | Vol 3, Chapter 65, pages 857-863. 11. Kitzinger, Sheila, |
| were interviewed were very pleased to have been at | | | | Birth at Home, 1981, pages101-111. 12. NAPSAC, Chapter |
| the birth and were not frightened by the actual birth. | | | | 66, pages 865-867.Yvonne Cryns has degrees in |
| One story near the end highlighted the reason a | | | | nursing and law. She is the co-founder of Nursing |
| caregiver is needed for the children. This little girl was | | | | Programs - Midwives.net - Yvonne also produced a |
| firghtened by the mother's efforts to pucsh the baby | | | | video about midwives: |
| out and left the room, refusing to re-enter. Then | | | | Yvonne is a nationally-credentialed CPM, a |
| someone noticed she was upset and talked with her | | | | professional homebirth midwife. |
| about her fear, got the mother to smile, and the little girl | | | | |